The Frustration of The Lonely

It could be anytime. Usually when you're alone. When you can't take it. There's nothing there. No one to lay next to. No one to hold hands with. No shoulder to cry on. Your tears go unheard. And you realize, you can't do anything about it. Nothing can be done. The frustration sets in. It's a horrible feeling. Seeing a problem, living a problem, and not being able to do ANYTHING about it. I wish I could tell you how to make that frustration disappear, but alas, I have found no permanent cure. You can sleep it off, you can listen to music hours on end till the feeling lessens, you could reassure yourself everything is meant to be this way, so many temporary things can be done. However, the frustration always comes back sometime. Not many know what it feels like so many can't be talked to. This post seems pointless, but know you're not alone if you ever feel it. I can't tell you it'll get better, because you know you can't even know that. You just live on hope. So live on it. Enjoy the non frustrating moments and live through the frustrating ones. It might get better...it might get better...

Love Never Hurts, The Absence Of It Does.

Lately I've heard a lot of people saying "love hurts". However, infact, it does not. The absence of it does. Love should not be a struggle, it is a natural, wonderful, magical feeling. Everything feels right when you see the person or even just think of them. A feeling unlike anything you've experienced runs through your body. You find your face turning red at the mention of them, your eyes automatically search for them in a crowded area, they make you feel things you thought you may never feel. No, love is painless, it is wonderful. What hurts is when you realize they're not there. For whatever reason you may find yourself without them, whether it be a long distant relationship, they're no longer living, they're with someone else now, and you loved them, it will hurt. It could be any random day, any random time, when it hits you. They're not here. All you have left of them is the memories, and memories do not stay as fresh as we all want them too. Soon, their voice, their laugh, they all begin to fade with time. You realize you can't live off of these fading  memories forever and you just die a little. You suddenly feel the emptiness that you've been trying to hide. The tears can't be held back as you slowly sit down and notice the silence and the loneliness that is ever present but regularly ignored. You know something is missing and it hurts. This pain is worse than physical pain. You know you can do something about physical pain, you know it will stop. When it comes to emotional pain however, you just don't know when it will stop, if it'll get better, how long the cycle with continue. After you've cried all your tears you take a deep breath and wipe the remaining tears away. What else can you do but get up, continue your life, and pretend you're always fine...the pain is unbearable but you must bear it. The loneliness never leaves your side, silence becomes the loudest noise, and crumbling memories is what you lean on the most. For those in long distant relationships, you live on hope and it's not easy. Hope is a place where doubt and fear can slowly crawl into. When you notice all the pain, you know you shouldn't feel like that,  but you also know you can't let go. You can't let them go, no one else will take that spot in your heart and that both elates and kills you. However, you fight on. Why? Simply because you know what love is. You've experienced its warm touch and you don't want to let that go, and as long as your partner feels the same, you don't let it go, because while Hope can be a dangerous place, it can lead to everything you could ever wish for.  So no dear reader, love does not hurt, the absence of it does. I implore you never to get that mixed up.